Om at føle sig nulstillet – og begrave “i balance” ved siden af “perfekt”

Nørlev Strand

Det føltes ligesom at have været væk. Mentalt teleporteret ud i rummets ingenting og tilbage igen. Jeg var egentlig bare faldet i søvn på stranden. I 5 minutter? En halv time? Aner det ikke. Men i det forløsende øjeblik, jeg kom til mig selv, var det som om, at jeg var blevet nulstillet. Aldrig har jeg været så afslappet og samtidig akut bevidst om, at netop dét øjeblik og dén følelse var et vendepunkt. Ellers en slags milepæl, om I vil.

Til venstre for mig lå Biologen på sit håndklæde med én hånd på hundesnoren og ét øje på hunden. Til højre mine forældre. Og jeg lå der i midten med et kæmpe smil og blikket rettet mod den sommerblå himmel, helt høj over at føle den ro, jeg har arbejdet for og ventet på så længe, mens Vesterhavet lød, som det altid gør på en god juli-dag.

Mon jeg var i en slags meditativ tilstand uden at vide det? (Min kære HR-kollega med hang til mindfulness ville bestemt ha’ nikket “ja!” her.)

Hvis jeg var “i balance”, var det kun for et øjeblik, for jeg var egentlig også temmelig ramt af PMS de dage i sommerhuset. Temperament og følsomhed i én uskøn forening. Hvor ville det dog være skønt, hvis man kunne tøjle sine hormoner de dage, hvor der ikke er plads eller overskud til dem.

Derfor var det skønt at falde over nedenstående i går, da jeg fes den af på facebook – et verbalt oprør mod den higen efter perfektion, balance og kontrol, som kvinder af en eller anden djævelsk grund døjer med. Og hey, alle kvinder, som bruger mad-metaforer til at beskrive livets gang, har en helt særlig plads i mit hjerte.

Against BALANCE…

Dear Ones

The other night at my event in St Paul, a young woman asked me about how I achieve balance in my life.

..First of all, I love that she thinks I have achieved balance in my life!

Secondly, I felt the need to speak out once more against the subtle tyranny of the word BALANCE, which I think haunts and punishes modern women more and more every day.

We are constantly being told that we should be achieving balance — that we should somehow exquisitely be negotiating the relationships between our work lives, our home lives, our romantic lives, our health and well-being, our spiritual selves. You can’t read an interview with a famous woman these days that the journalist does not applaud her for having achieved BALANCE….and then if you turn the pages of that magazine, you will find ten more articles showing how you can achieve balance, too!

Be careful.

The word BALANCE has tilted dangerously close, I fear, to the word PERFECT — another word that women use as weapons against themselves and each other.

To say that someone has found the secret to a balanced life is to suggest that they have solved life, and that they now float through their days in a constant state of grace and ease, never suffering stress, ambivalence, confusion, exhaustion, anger, fear, or regret. Which is a wonderful description of nobody, ever.

Balance, when we do find it, is a breathtakingly temporary condition. We stand upon a world that spins at 2000 miles an hour. Our minds, meanwhile, spin at 200,000 miles an hour. We collide every day with other humans who are also sliding and spinning wildly. The landscape of our lives, therefore, changes by the minute. You find your balance one day and think, “Hooray! I have solved it” and then five minutes later the world utterly transforms again, and you’re knocked on your ass one more time.

That’s just how life is on this planet — messy, fast, out of control, unpredictable. It’s all terribly interesting, but also terribly unstable.

That being the case, I dropped the myth of BALANCE a long time ago. (I buried it right next to PERFECT.) My life seems happiest — as I tried to explain to this young woman the other night — when I just surrender to the madness, and embrace the glorious mess that I am…and also when I embrace the glorious mess that everyone else is, and the glorious mess of the world itself. My life gets the most painful when I try to set the entire mess (myself other people, life itself) into order.

The world is like a dropped pie most of the time. Don’t kill yourself trying to put it back together. Just grab a fork and eat some of it off the floor. Then carry on.

If you can get some stuff done in the chaos sometimes, god bless you. If you can basically hold it together, propping yourself up with duct tape and glue, rock on. If you can manage stay upright even one hour a day, you’re doing pretty great, as far as I’m concerned. And if you can be kind to the other stumbling fools around you half the time — well, that’s just heroic.

Basically, I think we are all just sloppy stupendous champions.

Onward!

– Elizabeth Gilbert, forfatteren bag ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ og senest ‘The Signature of All Things’.

Kertinge Nor

Afslutningsvis vil jeg lige dele den afsindige solnedgang, jeg blev udsat for i lørdags, da jeg var til kombineret fødselsdag-studentergilde i Kølstrup ved Kertinge Nor. Det øverste billede er fra Nørlev Strand nær Skallerup Klit.

Reklamer

Skriv et svar

Udfyld dine oplysninger nedenfor eller klik på et ikon for at logge ind:

WordPress.com Logo

Du kommenterer med din WordPress.com konto. Log Out / Skift )

Twitter picture

Du kommenterer med din Twitter konto. Log Out / Skift )

Facebook photo

Du kommenterer med din Facebook konto. Log Out / Skift )

Google+ photo

Du kommenterer med din Google+ konto. Log Out / Skift )

Connecting to %s